Tag Archives: rant

30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She’s 30.

I love when my friends give me assignments. Being that I’m 29, this is pretty suitable. I was told to rip this shit apart. 30 Things Every Woman Should Know and Have. Sure, tell me more about what I should and shouldn’t know, stranger. I thought to myself, Christ, with that title, this should be good. I read the first two points and thought “meh, I guess, whatever” and then the third point struck the cord of Yes, I Will In Fact Blog About This.

Let’s get on with it!

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Carolyn watches Star Wars: The Phantom Menace.

Now that Christmas and all that shit is over with, IT’S TIME TO START HATING STAR WARS. I finished the original trilogy and now it’s on to the part of Star Wars everyone wishes they could forget. I’m definitely going in with incredibly low expectations so maybe it will be better than what everyone says! Go Phantom Menace! I believe in you!

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The banning of Pit bulls in Montreal.

The recent ban on pit bulls in Montreal has caused an uproar across Canada. Many people are for the new law, but way more people are against it. I’m under the assumption that there are more people against the law because, you know, it’s bullshit.

First of all, saying you’re going to ban “pit bulls” is extremely vague. What you’re banning, I assume?, is the bully breed. Here is a list of bully breeds. Sorry literally everyone I know, YOUR DOG BANNED IN MONTREAL.

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Gym etiquette: This is NOT how you parent.

Before the moms out there get all up in a hizzy because I don’t have kids therefore I immediately have no idea what I’m talking about, I thiiiiiiiink I actually do know what I’m talking about in this situation. I know parenting is one of the hardest things you can ever do, which is why it sounds like a terrible idea in my mind, but even us non-parents know when you’re doing it wrong.

I give you the story of my night at the gym last night.

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America – FUCK YEAH

I know what you’re ALL thinking, “oh my God a Monday has passed and Lady Dicks here forgot to do a Motivational Mondays with Jess segment!” and first of all, how dare you. Maybe I didn’t forget, maybe I was too busy, maybe I was dying, you don’t know me. Secondly, yes, I totally did forget until about 9:59pm last night and thought to myself ugh, I could get up and do it, but….laying down watching The Mighty Boosh is infinitely more appealing. And so, we move on.

Yesterday, my friend Nick wrote something about America that I found myself nodding to every word he wrote. Then I promptly told him I wanted to steal what he said and blog it, to which he foolishly agreed.

Enjoy. Or don’t. I don’t give a shit.

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Popular TV comedies I don’t give a shit about.

Everyone’s taste in TV comedies is different. My distaste of extremely popular TV show comedies is apparently crazy. If you haven’t seen any of these shows and are questioning whether you should check them out or not, don’t listen to my advice. I’ve been told how wrong my opinion is on the following.

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