Now that hiking season is over for me (what up snow in the mountains, I don’t want to be in you), it’s time for me to rant about people who hike. We did a bunch of hiking this year and saw a lot of interesting hikers wearing interesting garments.
I’m definitely not an expert in hiking, not by a long shot, but I do have something called common sense that a lot of people on the mountain apparently don’t seem to have. And okay, so hiking common sense is a thing that isn’t expected among humans, but before you go for a hike, maybe enter into the google box ‘hiking for dummies’ or ‘preparing for a hike’ or ‘hiking: are flip flops a thing I should wear?’
Which is a solid segue into person number one who should not be allowed to hike.
I love when my friends give me assignments. Being that I’m 29, this is pretty suitable. I was told to rip this shit apart. 30 Things Every Woman Should Know and Have. Sure, tell me more about what I should and shouldn’t know, stranger. I thought to myself, Christ, with that title, this should be good. I read the first two points and thought “meh, I guess, whatever” and then the third point struck the cord of Yes, I Will In Fact Blog About This.
Now that Christmas and all that shit is over with, IT’S TIME TO START HATING STAR WARS. I finished the original trilogy and now it’s on to the part of Star Wars everyone wishes they could forget. I’m definitely going in with incredibly low expectations so maybe it will be better than what everyone says! Go Phantom Menace! I believe in you!
The recent ban on pit bulls in Montreal has caused an uproar across Canada. Many people are for the new law, but way more people are against it. I’m under the assumption that there are more people against the law because, you know, it’s bullshit.
First of all, saying you’re going to ban “pit bulls” is extremely vague. What you’re banning, I assume?, is the bully breed. Here is a list of bully breeds. Sorry literally everyone I know, YOUR DOG BANNED IN MONTREAL.
Before the moms out there get all up in a hizzy because I don’t have kids therefore I immediately have no idea what I’m talking about, I thiiiiiiiink I actually do know what I’m talking about in this situation. I know parenting is one of the hardest things you can ever do, which is why it sounds like a terrible idea in my mind, but even us non-parents know when you’re doing it wrong.
I give you the story of my night at the gym last night.
I know what you’re ALL thinking, “oh my God a Monday has passed and Lady Dicks here forgot to do a Motivational Mondays with Jess segment!” and first of all, how dare you. Maybe I didn’t forget, maybe I was too busy, maybe I was dying, you don’t know me. Secondly, yes, I totally did forget until about 9:59pm last night and thought to myself ugh, I could get up and do it, but….laying down watching The Mighty Boosh is infinitely more appealing. And so, we move on.
Yesterday, my friend Nick wrote something about America that I found myself nodding to every word he wrote. Then I promptly told him I wanted to steal what he said and blog it, to which he foolishly agreed.