This past weekend was Canadian Thanksgiving. For those of you wondering why we celebrate thanksgiving in October, it’s because having turkey in November and December for Christmas is crazy. So much turkey so close together. Just kidding, that’s not the actual reason. And actually, it wasn’t until my parents started spending winters in Phoenix did I know that Americans don’t usually eat turkey on Christmas day, which made me realize you Americans are insane.
How can you give up a perfect excuse to eat turkey??
The recent ban on pit bulls in Montreal has caused an uproar across Canada. Many people are for the new law, but way more people are against it. I’m under the assumption that there are more people against the law because, you know, it’s bullshit.
First of all, saying you’re going to ban “pit bulls” is extremely vague. What you’re banning, I assume?, is the bully breed. Here is a list of bully breeds. Sorry literally everyone I know, YOUR DOG BANNED IN MONTREAL.
As a constant travelling Canadian, I’ve been to America a million times and it never ceases to amaze me how my Canadianism keeps getting in the way. Like, not knowing how things work, being overly nice to strangers and not wanting to give up my credit card.
I can’t help but be a friendly goddamn person, but you never really realize how friendly Canadians can be until you take them out of their habitat and unleash them into the world.
Here are a few examples of how not American I was in Seattle this past weekend.
I am a Canadian living in Canada. And thank god for that. The thought of living in America gives me hives. Millions of people do it every day and ya’ll must be living in actual goddamn fear for ya’lls lives. That’s right kids, buckle up and roll your eyes, it’s time for this Canadian to pipe in on the lack of gun control in my neighbouring country.