Carolyn watches Star Wars: Return of the Jedi.

The last of the good old school movies before I start the garbage ones. HURRAY!

Return of the Jedi.

A LONG TIME AGO IN A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY.

Vile gangster Jabba the Hut. HAHAHAHAHA.

A new Death Star, how FUN!

jedi

I feel like these helmets would protect you against zero things.

Wait, Darth Vader isn’t the Emperor? Oh, that must have been who the random hologram face was in the last movie.

WHY IS R2D2 SO CUTE I WANT ONE.

Oh hi Judoon. Seriously, Doctor Who and Star Wars are intertwined.

HAHAHAHA I MISSED YOU JABBA.

Is that a giant bong.

I hate everything about this Alien Bar. Why is this happening.

jedi

WHAT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING.

It’s going to take a lot for this movie to redeem itself.

NO. DON’T START UP THE MUSIC AND DANCING AND SINGING AGAIN. SWEET CHRIST.

Oh hey it’s….what’s his face. Lando.

I bet that’s Leia.

Nailed it.

Ew, he’s probably got bad breathe, don’t kiss him. HE ALSO HASN’T SAID HE LOVES YOU, SO.

I hope Leia is forced to sing and dance.

OBVIOUSLY IT’S CHEWY CAN YOU NOT HEAR THE HRRR HRRRR’s.

jedi

True love conquers all.

Oh man, Luke’s got…the force or something.

LOL LOL LOL LEIA OMG. They just had that…lying around.

jediCan we just talk about C3PO striking a pose. WERK IT, BAE.

“They have a cave troll”

The two guys crying over the troll. Why is this movie horrible.

Like, why don’t you just shoot them.

IS EVERYTHING JUST A PARTY TO THESE IDIOTS.

PEW PEW PEW PEW!

Go on Leia! Now put some clothes on.

jedi

“Landon’t leave me!”

Classic C3PO.

Oh snap, it’s the Emperor!

Ugh, Yoda.

“Master Yoda, you can’t die.” CAN HE THOUGH.

Christ Luke, let the bastard take a nap.

Oh man, is he actually dying.

HE ACTUALLY DIED. What the….okay BYE.

Yes, Obi-Wan, have a seat. Being dead must be exhausting.

HOW….DID YOU JUST GO FROM “I don’t have a twin sister” TO “Leia, Leia is my sister!” That gut feeling now that you’ve lusted after her? Fuck.

jedi

Oh my god, this thing. Where have I seen this thing. …………………..IT’S A TRAP. Yes. I cannot wait for him to say it.

I BET SOMEONE $300 HAN’S SHIP GETS DESTROYED.

Well this place looks like Earth.

I would absolutely die on one of these fast machine things.

jediYES. THE LITTLE TEDDY BEAR THINGS. AWWWW IT’S SO CUTE. Minus its creepy eyes.

Way to go Chewy.

SO MANY TEDDY BEARS.

This movie is all sorts of ridiculous.

R2D2 falling over is hilarious EVERY time.

GOOD, WE DEFINITELY NEED MORE MUSIC AND DANCING. THERE HASN’T BEEN ENOUGH.

Tell her she’s your sister, Luke, DO IT.

jedi“But….you made my crotch feel tingly.” 

SOMEHOW I’VE ALWAYS KNOWN. THEN WHY. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Jesus Christ this acting.

Yessss, I love the tall robot turtle. There are not enough of those.

I would absolutely join the dark side.

I think I prefer Whine-y Bitch Luke.

Definitely forgot about Lando & co.

WILL DARTH SAVE LUKE?

Yesss, I think what’s that thing is going to say “IT’S A TRAP” soon.

Maybe everyone will die.

IT’S A TRAP!

Go teddy bears!

Stormtroopers are idiots.

JEDI

PEW PEW! PEW PEW!

Rock vs guns. ALL THE BEARS ARE GOING TO DIE.

Remember how Yoda was completely useless then died.

R2 NOOO! HE IS NOT THE DROID YOU’RE LOOKING FOR. WHY DOES HE ALWAYS GET INJURED IT’S TOYING WITH MY EMOTIONS.

I would like to not see dying teddy bears please DEFINITELY THE CLOSEST I’VE COME TO CRYING IN THESE MOVIES.

“I love you”
“I know”
Die.

Do….I know what’s….happening, even? What the fuck is the plot.

HIS HAND. LIKE FATHER LIKE SON M I RITE.

So Darth is going to save him. God it would be so much better if he didn’t.

jediLOL LOL LOL BYE FELISHA.

Darth is going to die now.

Don’t take off his mask, Luke, he’s gross.

NO DON’T TAKE OFF THE MASK.

Oh, was expecting a lot worse. JAMES EARL JONES IS BLACK THO.

Bye Mufasa.

Yet another Death Star destroyed GOD THAT MUST BE ANNOYING AND EXPENSIVE.

Dancing teddy bears are acceptable.

HOLOGRAM DEAD GUYS REALLY SPRUCE UP A PARTY.


All screencaps provided by www.starwarsscreencaps.com

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3 thoughts on “Carolyn watches Star Wars: Return of the Jedi.

  1. Nick

    See. Told you that you’d have fun with the first bit with Jabba’s palace.
    Weird factoid: Elderly white injured Vader is the guy my work colleague knew as Uncle Buster when he was a kid.
    I really like bits of Jedi but other bits are annoying. Force Awakens & Rogue One are so much better.

    Reply
  2. Brian Lageose

    I’m a little blue now that you’ve finished the original trilogy, because something tells my you might not be super invested in the rest of them, which means that there might not be any more of this superb commentary, and I’ve grown a little addicted to it, and withdrawal hurts, and there will be pain and darkness and I don’t know if I can go on and… yeah, I’m just going to go over here and have seventeen beers and sulk and… oh look, someone left a Pop-Tart in the toaster… I wonder if they’re coming back… I better take it and run, just in case…

    Reply
  3. Megan

    So I just started watching all the Star Wars movies for the first time too. This is the last one I’ve seen so far. It’s awesome reading your blogs right after watching them now that I actually know which parts you are talking about. Weren’t those teddy bear things ADORABLE! Haha, I’m kinda dreading watching the next 3 movies though… :/

    Reply

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