Carolyn watches Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back.

LET’S DO THIS.

The Empire Strikes Back.

So, is every movie going to start off the same? Because that’s kind of hilarious.

Haha, I just love the intro explaining what’s happening in the movie. WHY.

The ice planet of Hoth. So, Edmonton?

It’s a shame Obi Wan is dead. I enjoyed him. He had such great lines.

EmpireHAHAHAHAHA it’s like a big llama with no front legs.

Oh hey Luke, didn’t miss you.

NO LLAMA, WHYYYYY.

Yep, laughed too hard at Chewy’s presence again.

I thought Leia was a princess. Shouldn’t she be doing nothing?

Oh Han, you’re so moody.

Why is R2D2 so adorable. I want one.

I cannot with this abominable snowman. I refuse. OH MY GOD IS HE EATING THE LLAMA.

I could really use The Force in my life for when I leave my phone on the kitchen counter and I’m on the couch. Worst.

EmpireMe walking to the bus stop. 

Obi Wan is pulling a 2pac.

OMG ANOTHER LLAMA DEAD. WHAT THE HELL.

If it ever comes down to me freezing to death or being shoved into the stomach of an animal, I choose death.

Rogue Two! The new movie is called Rogue One right? This probably means something.

There is literally no sexual tension between Leia and Han. Awful. “laugh it up fuzzball” ahh, another classic line.

NO.
NO.
NO.
NO.
NOPE.
LEIA KISSING LUKE. NOPE. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Empire

giphy

Can’t wait for Yoda. He’s probably terrible.

Literally how are these humans understanding the robots?

I am so into Dark Vader’s song. It’s the best.

EmpireOh man, it’s the…..tall walking bad guy….things. Robot turtles with long legs.

RUH ROH YOUR BUDDY IS DEAD LUKE.

TURTLE DOWN.

C3P0 is my spirit animal when it comes to running.

Chewy is my spirit animal when it comes to assisting.

These fucking graphics though.

Planet Swamp, such good.

Poor R2. Such a dare devil and constantly gets shit on.

Ew, what even is Darth Vader.

Does anyone else hate Han Solo? Just me then? K.

I’M SORRY WHAT.
IS THAT YODA’S ACTUAL FUCKING VOICE. NO.
I CAN’T.
OH MY FUCKING GOD.
I CANNOT BREATHE I AM ACTUALLY DEAD.
HIS VOICE HAS TO CHANGE. IT HAS TO.  THIS IS HIM RIGHT?
MAYBE THIS IS HIS ASSISTANT. EVERYONE NEEDS AN ASSISTANT.

C3P0, impeccable timing, ahahaha. COCK BLOCKED BY A ROBOT.

This is one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen, which, proooobably not the intention.

EmpireWHO IS THIS OLD MAN THING.

Anakin Skywalker is Luke’s dad? I thought Darth Vader was. SO MANY TWISTS.

Oh thank god we’re back to Luke and Potential Yoda.

Oh good, it is Yoda. Jesus Christ.

“I have a bad feeling about this” Hahahaha.

Yes Han, shoot the fucking thing you’re standing on as if it’s not obvious you’re standing on a Thing. So stupid.

EmpireHAHAHAHAHA. So, that’s a hand puppet.

Christ, I still have another hour of this.

OH SNAP IT’S DARTH VADER.

Oh good, they ruined this with a slow motion fight scene.

K so, Darth is definitely Luke’s dad which means Anakin is Darth Vader. Old Man Thing was just TRYNNA CONFUSE ME. SUCK IT OLD MAN THING.

“They’re in the attack position” You mean….flying towards you?

I’m bored with Yoda and Luke too, R2.

USE THE FORCE TO GET YOUR SHIP BACK, YOU IDIOT.

Empire……..Gallifrey?

Do all the men have to hit on Leia?

OH MY GOD C3P0. WAT.

“I don’t trust him either, but he is my friend” – NOT HOW FRIENDSHIP WORKS, HAN, BUT OKAY.

Tossing around the shattered corpse of C3P0 is such a dick move.

FUCK OFF LANDO MY GOD.

DARTH VADER! You dick, Lando!

K so. What side is the Empire. Darth or …..the good guys? I assume Darth’s squad.

Hahahaha C3P0 is now a backpack. Amazing.

“I love you” – Leia.
“I know” – Han.
EmpireI have no fucking clue what’s going on.

HAHAHAHA oh man, Han is all kinds of dead.

Oh, apparently not. KAY. Like, what is the point of this thing.

Darth Vader should definitely never say “wookie” again. LOL.

Why don’t you just choke him out, Darth?

New fitness goal: become as strong as Chewy.

I hope Jabba makes an appearance again. Hilar.

LOL AHAHAHAAHAHA Darth just…falling off the edge. Jesus God. KNOW YOUR SURROUNDINGS PEOPLE.

Tell him you’re his dad already.

Do we like Lando now?

PEW PEW, PEW PEW!

OMG LUKE’S HAND. BYE FELISHA.

I AM YOUR FATHER!

Good luck climbing with one hand, Luke.

Who needs strength when there’s telepathy, apparently.

Oh, Luke’s getting a new hand. That’s….odd.

I hope Luke and Leia makeout so I can kill myself.

I WONDER IF THEY WILL SAVE HAN SOLO PROBABLY BECAUSE OLD HARRISON FORD IS IN THE NEWEST ONE.

Empire

Squad Goals.


This movie was definitely funnier than the first one but I think I liked the first one more.
I don’t….know. God I cannot wait to watch the shitty episodes and regret it.


All screencaps provided by starwarsscreencaps.com

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Carolyn watches Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back.

  1. Nick

    It’s so hilarious reading your comments and knowing EXACTLY which bit you’re watching 🙂
    I like A New Hope the best out of all of the original 3 – nice story arc and a feeling of discovering a whole galaxy of cool stuff. Empire often feels like a lot of rushing about with no real result. It’s supposed to be the most emotionally engaging of the 3 but, meh, that’s not what I want in a shooty bang-bang spaceship fest. Still an entertaining film though.
    Return of the Jedi is a bit odd. Has some very, very good bits. Has some really dodgy bits. Has some bits that you thing, “hang on, haven’t we been here before?” I think you will have a lot of fun with the first 30 mins or so 🙂

    Reply
    1. Lady Dickson Post author

      Yes, that’s exactly how I felt about Empire. Rush rush rush, wait what? Ah well, what can you do. Looking forward to the the final episode of the old versions!

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *