Motivational Mondays with Jess.

Do you know what I think sucks? Motivational posters and the quotes that go with them. They’re annoying and obvious and boring. You see them everywhere, which is unfortunate. Mostly in doctors/dentists offices. You know what I don’t give a shit about/don’t want to look at when you’re drilling a hole in my mouth or telling me I have cancer?


I believe you succeed at sucking dick.

So, my friend Jess and I talk a lot. Like, an alarming amount to the point where I definitely talk to her more than I talk to my husband. It’s sad how not exaggerating I am. Jess says a lot of things that make me laugh even if it’s very self-deprecating and depressing, but you know the saying: one mans shitty life is another persons cash grab. No? That’s not a saying? Well it is now because I’m a great friend.

Recently, I decided I was going to make motivational posters based on the shit she says. It was just going to stay between us but then I realized I could unleash this garbage idea onto the world via my blog, to which she foolishly agreed to.

Which brings us to Motivational Mondays with Jess.

Much like everyone else on the planet with a Monday – Friday job, I hate Mondays. If you asked my husband what day he hates the most, it’s Tuesday. Which, fair. At least on Mondays you have something to talk about with your co-workers. How was your weekend? What did you get up to? Here’s what I did! and so on and so forth. The hell do you talk about on Tuesdays? So…did you watch that….new episode of The Big Bang Theory last night? 

Nope, because I don’t watch garbage TV.

So, you can expect every Monday I will be posting a new motivational poster that hopefully will help you through the day or make you want to kill yourself. Hard to predict which one, it’s a toss up really.

Here is the first edition of this new segment:


Ahh, I love the smell of accuracy in the morning.


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