An ode to my spam comments.

I’m going to break down a very small amount of the spam comments I’ve received this past month. I get about 15 spam comments a goddamn day, but I do read them all as they can be quite weird, stupid and/or comical. Or talking about how much they love incest. Gotta love dat spam, right.

SO LET’S DIVE RIGHT IN. Not…into incest. Let’s dive the hell away from that.

The name of the person who left the comment will be in bold.

Superman vs Batman trailer: An impressive share, I just given this onto a colleague who was doing a little analysis on this. And he in fact bought me breakfast because I found it for him…smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! But yeah Thnx for spending the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love reading more on this topic. If possible, you become expertise, would you mind updating your blog with more details?

Breakdown: This comment was left on my April Fools’ post. So, what the hell are you analyzing, Superbatman? The fact that I am gullible and blonde as fuck? And of course I’ll be updating my blog with more stupidity on my part because that’s how I roll. I want free breakfast.

Raining cats and dogs: Yelling or hitting cats isn’t just mean, it’ll backfire on you. Also, your apartment management can have dog requirements. Normally, cats have five toes on each paw, but there are a few cats which may have a lot more than five toes on the front and hind paws, the may be called polydactyl cats.

Breakdown:

spam comments

mentalfloss.com

You poor little cat bastard. That does not look comfortable. Maybe it’s fine, I mean, he does look to be at peace, but ugh. I wouldn’t want more than the necessary amount of fingers on my hand. I LEARNED SOMETHING NEW TODAY, RAINING CATS AND DOGS, THANKS. Also, people who abuse animals need to be punched in the face with a table saw.

Why are cats afraid of cucumbers: My dog and cat are my Comfort Zone and I thank the Lord for giving me such splendid creature comforts. Tell me much more about it, so how exactly does my dog’s diet affect things.

Breakdown: I was really unaware that cats are afraid of cucumbers. I need to find a cat and surprise it with a cucumber to see the reaction. Also, the Lord didn’t give you todays animals, EVOLUTION DID BUT THAT’S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE.

Freddie Beniquez: Hey, you used to write great, but the last two posts have been kinda boring. I miss your great writings. Come on!

Breakdown: This was posted on my very first blog post. WHAT PAST POSTS ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, FREDDIE?

CHI Flat Iron: book binding to fastening? JFC: possibly not properly thither for a landing. Just how ill-smelling could he didn’t get made. The picture show is orgasm off his panoramic rest
to nigh all earthshaking certify document; the man to instruct the Freebirds into the modify cut. Emperor of Rome Peterson is low observation, Cheap Oakley Sunglasses get below his hit ended the time period of. The Seahawks someone top rating squad and he mat a bit of awe.

Breakdown:

spam comments

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6 thoughts on “An ode to my spam comments.

  1. rural spaceman

    Well, I must be the lucky one. A nice Nigerian man has just told me that if I help him transfer some money through my account he’ll pay me £25 000! All I have to do is catch a flight to Lagos and meet him in a cafeteria in the arrivals lounge. So long, suckers!

    Reply

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