Carolyn watches Harry Potter. Part 3.

Well, I have high hopes for this movie. Everyone has been telling me this is when shit turns around and starts being awesome. But also, if I haven’t read the books, which I haven’t, I might lose a lot of the character development as it’s not overly portrayed in the movies. Which sucks, I’m all about character development. Makes it much more sad when they inevitably break your heart by dying. I’m looking at you Walking Dead.

Anyways, I know a lot of my friends say this is their favourite book. Let’s hope it doesn’t disappoint on screen.

Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban.

I love how Harry’s aunt and uncle are like “yeah, an owl is a regular pet.”

I don’t know why it’s so weird to see Harry age. Weren’t you just a toddler?

IS THAT MISS TRUNCHBULL?!

She was always my favourite character besides Matilda’s parents. I think this says a lot about who I am.

More like Miss Trunchballoon, m i rite? I am both hilarious and original.

Harry you didn’t even know your dead parents, your dad COULD have been a drunk.

There better be more Snape in this movie, just sayin’.

Triple decker bus? That cannot be safe for turning corners.

I’ve slept in worse conditions, Harry, count your fucking blessings.

I hate everything about this bus scene.

Oh what a day…WHAT A LOVELY DAY.

I would throw this monster book immediately into the fire.

Harry’s owl is growing on me, what with his cute noises.

Ron <3 I’ve missed you Ron.

“You are in grave danger” – everyone to Harry at all times.
“Ever the struggle of being the main character…” – Harry, probably.

I BET THE PERSON IN THE TRAIN CART WITH THEM IS SIRIUS BLACK.
(boy was I wrong)

No Harry, it’s sucking out your soul. YOU HAVE TO KILL THE DEMENTOR, HE PROBABLY IRONS HIS JEANS.

Draco, your hair either looks better or worse. I can’t tell.

Oh, this is new Dumbledore right? I could not tell. Good for the makeup department.

I wish this is how Emma Thompson always looked. Fucking slay.

Classic Neville.

I’m so glad Dobby isn’t here.

This fucking….horse turkey. What even.

Ron & Hermione are gonna bang.

So, Hogwarts is in the Scottish Highlands right? So pretty.

Draco has classic Only Child Syndrome. Love him.

The entire class is definitely way more multicultural this year. Maybe next movie, there will be speaking roles for everyone!

I bet Hermione isn’t real and is just a shape shifter, what with Ron being all “when did she get here.”

SNAPE IS COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET.

Bitch, you’re FABULOUS.

HOW ARE YOU PREFERRING THIS TO A FUCKING SNAKE.

Oh hi caretaker, yeah, lead these kids on a sexy field trip.

Snape is sick of your shit, Hermione.

God, Snape is so dramatic, I am in fucking love.

Can you just…pet owls? I feel like owls wouldn’t allow this.

I need an invisibility cloak. I would use it for better purposes and not for stealing goddamn lollipops.

Harry’s godfather is Sirius Black! Oh snap, you sure know how to pick em, Harry’s dead parents.

Lupin is definitely a bad guy. Continuously feeding Harry chocolate after he’s passed out.
Or…he’s a sexual predator.

These constant talking pictures on the wall would drive me to drink. And then I would fall off the stupid moving stairs. And die.

Horse turkey is really creepy looking. Where the hell is Hagrid’s dog?

Hermione’s breaking shit with her mind. Oh wait, it was a rock. What is happening.

Oh no! They killed horse turkey! 🙁

HAHAHAHAAHAHA. Third wheelin’ it up SO hard, Harry. 

This entire tree scene is awful. The stop motion is giving me hives.

GARY OLDMAN. God, why is everything perfect.

Nailed the Lupin bad guyness. Still….questionable on the sexual predator part.

Oh hey Snape out of literally nowhere.

Sirius Black is kind of hot. I hate myself.

Oh so. Lupin is not a bad guy.

UM, so you’re just leaving Snape in the tree all knocked out? EXPELLED. Don’t worry, Dumbledore will forgive you. Obviously.

Lupin, you’re such a weakass werewolf.

What….are you shiny deer. “I saw my dad.” No, Harry, you saw a shiny deer. The amount of times you’ve passed out is really having an affect on your brain. You might have a concussion.

Aww they’re traveling in time now. Hermione is the Doctor and Harry is the companion all confused as fuck. Classic companions.

Yes….here’s your second chance to save horse turkey!

Ohhhh. Hermione threw the rando rock. Everything’s coming up Millhouse.


Run you clever boy…

IT’S NOT YOUR DAD HARRY, IT’S YOU, GOD. Not sure why….Harry turns into a shiny deer……

Not going to explain that? Mmmkay.

I need a wand for packing. Holy shit. Bye Lupin. Everyone always leaves. Or dies.
Just like real life.

So, Snape is just fine with Harry using magic on him. And Lupin is stealing Hagrid’s horse turkey. Poor Hagrid, everything gets taken away from him.

Oh, that was an abrupt ending. K byeeee.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________

I will say this was definitely the best out of the three movies I’ve watched now. It was the perfect amount of Good. This breakdown of the movie is a lot shorter than the first two because it actually kept my attention. I really enjoyed the whole time-y wime-y shenanigans that went down as I didn’t see it coming. I was pretty much wrong on everything I predicted, which is nice for a change. I can usually nail that shit.

Yay.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *