Welp, it’s time to watch the second installment of Harry Potter. This will be a continuous Thursday extravaganza as Graeme is off soccer balling and lord knows he ain’t gonna watch no Harry Potter. On the plus side to watching the second movie, I have wine!
Here’s my post on Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone.
Let’s do this.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Wow, Harry totally aged in a year. I guess that’s what people do when they’re kids. EVEN HIS VOICE THOUGH.
Why would he go home to these horrible people.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING. It looks like a hairless cat. Oh Dobby, you are literally Gollum what with the first person speak and freaking out over…..what seems like nothing.
Why am I watching Lord of the Rings.
So Harry’s just like, totally fine hanging with a psychotic talking hairless cat.
I hope this stupid cat dies.
YEAH DON’T FORGET YOUR OWL, HARRY.
I am so Harry in all these situations. Not knowing wtf is going on.
DON’T BE AFRAID HARRY JUST LIGHT YOURSELF ON FIRE.
HAHAHA, AHHHHHHH. AHAHAHAHAHAHA. HEY THRANDUIL.
God, is Draco going to get hot? He has this whole Spike thing going on.
Aren’t they 13. How are you legally driving? Although, flying car, so.
When do the Cracked Voices of Puberty make their film debut?
RON BREAKING HIS WAND.
“Grasp your mandrake and pull it up.” THIS IS A CHILDREN’S MOVIE.
Good to know this bro hasn’t grown into his teeth yet.
Harry, maybe the rando voice is your dead dad.
“My cat has been petrified. I want to see some PUNISHMENT!” – the caretaker. I’M SURE YOU DO.
I bet there’s Quidditch in every goddamn movie.
The amount of gravol I would need to take before a match….
The amount of gravol I need to watch this scene, Jesus.
OH FUCK OFF GOLLUM CAT. Dobby is the Jar Jar Binks of Harry Potter.
Wow, I sure hope we don’t experience Myrtle again.
I’m on Team Snape for everything ever. I am 100% a Slytherin.
I think it’s fair that everyone is judging Harry for being able to speak snake to snakes.
Gosh this thing that keeps petrifying everyone sounds a lot like Sauron when he was the Necromancer hanging out at Dol Guldur. I’M JUST SAYING.
So, the sorting hat is the boogie man from Nightmare Before Christmas.
I bet Neville eats one of the cupcakes. Classic Neville.
Well, it wasn’t Neville. Why are you just eating a random floating cupcake. Everyone at Hogwarts is stupid.
I am being Draco for Halloween. We are the same. I have to.
AT FIRST I WAS AFRAID
I WAS PETRIFIED.
I just love Hagrid’s dog. He is the dog of my dreams.
I laugh too hard when Thranduil is on screen.
I hope we meet the rando centaur again.
OH HI SHELOB, WELCOME TO THE FUCKING MOVIE. JFC.
I don’t know many people who would be Harry over Ron in this Monster Spider situation.
And there’s the Great Spiders from The Hobbit, right on schedule.
No, don’t bring Myrtle back into the mix…..she’s the worst.
Gilderoy Lockhart is literally Troy McClure.
Awww Voldemort is so cute. Too much stress, man. That shit’ll make you bald.
Just ride that snake a la Buffy, Harry. It worked for her.
Good job, magical chicken, you saved them all!
“You broke every rule this school has, congratulations, you are rewarded things.” – Dumbledore at the end of every movie, I’m guessing.
GOLLUM CAT, I thought we were done with you.
Hagrid! He has returned!
Oh good, Gollum Cat is on Harry’s side now. CAN’T WAIT TO SEE MORE OF HIM.
So, standing ovations at the end of all the movies.
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