I am a Canadian living in Canada. And thank god for that. The thought of living in America gives me hives. Millions of people do it every day and ya’ll must be living in actual goddamn fear for ya’lls lives. That’s right kids, buckle up and roll your eyes, it’s time for this Canadian to pipe in on the lack of gun control in my neighbouring country.
I read this article this morning and found myself shaking my head, getting red hot with rage, and exclaiming in my basic bitch voice “I can’t EVEN” a few times. If you’re not going to read the article, here’s what happened:
A 14 year old left for school only to turn back because he didn’t feel like going. We’ve all been there, ain’t nobody wanna go to school. His dad was still at home and heard a noise coming from the basement. In a panic for some reason, dad grabs his fucking gun, as you apparently do, and goes to investigate quietly instead of shouting “who’s there?” or something common sense-y. The son jumps out and dad shoots him in the neck.
What. The FUCK.
So this leads me back to the whole American’s Must Live Their Lives In Actual Goddamn Fear Every Day theory because you know what happened whenever I skipped school and went home only to find a parent still there? I DIDN’T get shot in the neck.
Are people really that paranoid that every bump in the night is obviously an intruder and must be shot dead LEST YE BE SHOT FIRST? I mean, this shit keeps happening so it MUST BE TRUE. IT HAS TO BE TRUE.
The amount of shootings that occur every single day in America is genuinely appalling, so maybe if I lived there, I would be trigger happy too. This is just one of the many reasons I will never live in America. When I was in Phoenix, we would watch the news every morning. And every morning, there was a section of the news dedicated to all the shootings that happened the day before. JUST IN PHOENIX. Not even branching out nation wide. JUST. PHOENIX.
It was absolutely shocking. It pointed out the fact that unless more than roughly 3 or more people are killed in a single shooting, it’s not even worth mentioning nationally or in Canada.
Americans were shot by toddlers 43 times this year. In 31 cases, a toddler found a gun and shot themselves. This is another headline I read. Guys, this is….preventable. By not…having guns. But you just fucking know the gun owning people who have children who HAVEN’T shot themselves or other people are screaming “IT HASN’T HAPPENED TO MY FAMILY SO WHY SHOULD WE LET A COUPLE DEAD TODDLERS RUIN THIS FOR THE REST OF US. PEOPLE JUST NEED TO KEEP THEIR GUNS MORE SECURE.”
The obvious solution here is to throw more guns at people. Classic NRA. You guys slay me. You know what’s great about Canada? Ryan Gosling. But more importantly: having gun control. People who own guns here are police officers or hunters going hunting. Obviously Canada isn’t perfect and we have shootings but they are so goddamn rare in contrast to America.
Shit I Hear When People Defend Guns:
“THERE ARE MORE PEOPLE IN AMERICA THAN CANADA THO SO THAT’S WHY THERE ARE MORE SHOOTINGS HERE.”
Yes. You are correct. But also, fuck you. Out of all the people I know, I only know of one person who owns a gun. Oh wait, sorry, two. But the second one is a police officer. I don’t know how to get a gun. I don’t know where to buy one. I don’t know how to get my license. I have never seen a sign or advertisement here about Where To Buy A Gun! Come On Down, BOGO ON GUNS. I’ve never seen a gun outside of a shooting range or on the hip of a police officer.
“HEY YOU STUPID CANADIAN, IT’S MY RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS. THE SECOND AMENDMENT TELLS ME SO.”
Yeah, the constitution also banned alcohol, forbade women and black people to vote, and my personal favourite: “hmm maybe slavery ISN’T so neat. LET’S AMEND THAT.” So. THINGS CHANGE. And you know why? Because things have to change. It’s 2016, people. Let’s give our fucking heads a shake and stop living in the 1700s. You’ve managed, well most of you anyways, to get over women and black people being Involved In Life Decisions, why the fuck can you not get over the fact that guns can and OBVIOUSLY HAVE had a result in violence? When is it ever going to be enough for you guys?